if u ever feel sad remember that robert englund once took a nap on the set of a nightmare on elm street in full freddy krueger makeup and when he woke up he looked straight into a mirror and scared the shit out of himself
this is the best story
if i’m ever rich i’m gonna always leave huge tips, like 200%. that’s like the dream. having enough money to give some waitress 40 bucks extra just because she’s nice.
When people say “culture is meant to be shared” I’m literally like ???? Because that has literally never been the purpose of any culture. Culture is about identity, community and family. It’s about tradition. It is not and has never been about “sharing”.
They keep saying “shared” when they mean “made available for my consumption.”
and boom goes the dynamite
I love this.
I don’t know why this amuses me so much.
|—||every message in my inbox for the next 16 years (via corporateaccount)|
iowa is the only state that consists entirely of vowels
thats my favourite animal
This picture fucked me up
nO BUT WHAT IF YOU HAD A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE AND YOU MAILED THEM THIS CARD AND PUT A PLANE TICKET INSIDE HOW FUCKING CUTE WOULD THAT BE
Fact: Unlike the gay agenda™, the bisexual agenda contains a 15 minute break for snacks between sessions.
Fact: The asexual agenda is entirely made of snacks, with a 15 minute break for all out anarchy
Fact: The pansexuals, with their extreme love for kitchen ware, make all the snacks.
my kitten says hello
"hey, how do i get better at-"